Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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