Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
