I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize