So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize