My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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