i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
