I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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