Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
