drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
