Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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