My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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