I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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