No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
