My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
