i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
