Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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