Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
