I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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