We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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