whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
