woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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