i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My pussy is not your playground.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
