Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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