and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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