I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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