I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
