so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
