OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize