I like my sex mixed with concussions.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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