We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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