READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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