i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
