where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
