I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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