ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
