I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
