Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
