You smell like stripper and shame
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We smell like vodka and hangover
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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