All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Come share oat with me in your robe
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
