Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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