Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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