I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
