New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
