K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
