They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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