Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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