I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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