I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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