I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize