I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
