nut hugger
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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