Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
