Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Are my feet made of real feet?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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