I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
