i permit you to call me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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