BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
