**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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