i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
