this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
