i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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