here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
