seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
