he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
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If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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