I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
