Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
