the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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