The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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